A SPLINTER AVOIDING THE FOREVER!

by Kiki Tzeggai

A splinter avoiding the forever!

I am often asked if Eritreans have a problem marrying between different religions. My genuine answer is NO! We marry and respect each other’s’ faith. In fact, I add, Eritreans might have a problem for each letter of the alphabet but the letter “R” for religion needs to be skipped.

The next question I am asked - and I ask myself - is what happens and what will happen to children born from Eritrean-Ethiopian unions? The two nations’ bitter interrelated history, will it pull the kids in two different directions? Will it be two flags standing between them as shadows, but never displayed? On the other hand, will mothers, grandmothers, embrace and promptly forget the differences in purely feminine discussions of baptism, birthdays’ decorations, and more? What happens once questions loom up as a certainty? It undeniably is a road to be thread softly when talking about the four decades of Ethiopian occupation and Eritreans’ pain to regain their land. I would like to be the invisible guest in each house, on each side and listen. Will nationality and borders’ subjects escape the grandmothers’ lips? Will Badme war and no war situation become a debate of discussion and then arguments in a das (tent) while wedding preparations are going on? Will attitudes be drowned by who prepares the best “Mies/Tejj” (alcoholic homemade drink).

Will the strong influence that both avowed “love-my land. Don’t you ever take a look at it” by Eritreans and the “you got out easily because of the Weyane and not by war…” by the Ethiopian side, become often excoriating to members of the other family (maybe one a Tegadalay (Eritrean Freedom Fighter) or the other a Terserawit (Ethiopian soldier)? If one merely mention that So-and-So is a “Ye Eritrea” (an Eritrean) will they be suspected by the Eritrean side as being racist or enemy?

Unfortunately, the Eritrean history publications and the Ethiopian history publications that openly vaunt the superiority of their nationality and do not mince words when it comes to criticizing the “others”, will make the friction continue through the ages. Both sides firmly entrenched in self-uprightness. Therefore, the scrape will continue, now dormant, now effervescing uneasily, now flaring into riots and open war. Each Eritrean family speaks with a certain anger when they allude to the curse of Ethiopia’s hunger for Eritrean land and call themselves the martyred people.

However, it seems to me that since both cannot reach an agreement in this wrangle of the decades, we have to hope that the young generations on both sides, will have the bravery on the Ethiopian side to re-organize their history teaching in their own land/schools and admit that NEVER again they will invade others’ land.

On the Eritrean side, once our borders are set and our unity is back on track, maybe turning to the eternal wall of friction adjustments must be made and keep alive the belief of Plato, “ one who places his/her country and that country's interests above his own”. In addition, circumvent the fencing among each other. My country right or wrong is valid for both sides, how to make a no man land for such relationships mentioned above is a dabbling in politics and strong peaceful alliances among families, once asking for forgiveness by Ethiopia is reached! We are able to dissect the problem, but can we reach constructing a solution? I leave the answer to those that are in such dilemma. For now, they seem – to me - voices crying in the wilderness of borders to be defined. Of forgiveness to be asked by the occupier and Ethiopia’s acceptance – asked by international laws – to compensate Eritrea for the damage done to this day.

Eritreans look at Haile Sellasie and Menghistu Hailemariam as something malignantly unique and at the present Ethiopian regime as befuddling, but in reality there is no use in ignoring that in a hundred years; the world will no more call Ethiopia the aggressors because there will more African countries that will treat Africans in such way.

In conclusion, I hope the domestic life of such couples will be more than the dialectic of Ethiopian occupation in Eritrea and Ethiopian arrogance in denying it. I hope for them - and the kids born from such union - that their arguments are not born from false feelings. I hope others will not look at their union as prohibited fruits, so not to see the outcome of the kids’ future as a casual allure. I also hope that the vital nerve of the pain caused by Ethiopian occupation in Eritrea will be a discussion based on truth; and building the needed peace believing in something true!

Otherwise, the likes of potential belligerent occupation by Ethiopia and the Badme problematic will be a forever-sore splinter for each country.

Kiki Tzeggai
January 12, 2019

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